Most people are afraid of refereeing and go to great lengths to avoid it. After tournament matches, players often sneak away or have important meeting in other parts of town to avoid being asked to officiate. I really don’t understand this, because I find refereeing a lot of fun. With the right attitude, you can too.

It is the attitude I want to talk about here, not so much the rules. Of course, the rules are important, and you should have a reasonable grasp of them. But if you have the right attitude, the rules fall into place. And if they don’t, few people will question you anyway.

The most important thing you can do when refereeing is to be decisive and consistent. First, be decisive. You must always remember that you want to facilitate the flow of play, not disrupt it. If you allow players to argue with you over a call, you have allowed the flow to be broken. If you change your mind or vacillate on a call, play becomes turbulent, and often so do the players. However, a prompt, decisive call moves play forward, even if it’s wrong. As I always say, it is better to be firm and wrong than wishy-washy and correct!

Always remember that half of the players on the court usually agree with you. If you let noise and aggression intimidate you once, then you become fair game on every call, and there goes the flow. If you do not allow discussion during the match and are willing to back that position up with an occasional penalty point or threat of one, you will never lose control.

Second , be consistent. Always try to give the same call in the same situation. It is only fair. However, do not confuse this with appearing to be fair. The aggrieved players on court will try to draw a parallel between this situation in which they want your support and an earlier similar and successful call by the opponents. Don’t let the players try to force consistency if you do not see it. You have a unique vantage point and will see differences in situations in which players find similarities. Consistency is also helped by knowledge of the rules.

You may well ask where the fun is in all of this. I find it in changing myself to be able to accomplish the things above. I want to learn to disguise the uncertainties I often feel when I make a call. I want to make call in such a way that players believe in me and have confidence in me (even If the call was wrong). I want to keep fine-tuning the tension between control and intrusion. I never want to intrude upon a match, but always want to have it under control. The fun lies in trying different approaches to accomplishing this and eliminating behaviors that don’t work. Additional enjoyment arises from the fact that as my refereeing skills improve, so does the enjoyment of my playing. For example, I find I can transfer the observational skills I’ve developed as a referee to play itself, and I have become a better squash player for it.

What is even more rewarding is that the skills and self-confidence I’ve developed in refereeing have helped me in both my personal and professional lives. I remember vividly the first professional match I refereed at the Windy City Open in Chicago, between Sharif Khan and Clive Caldwell. I was a blathering wreck after only a few points, as Sharif glared at me with every call, and Clive glowered at me from underneath his one dark eyebrow. Today, I could handle their intimidation.

I encourage you to think of refereeing as an opportunity to change what you may regard as a tense, intimidating experience into one in which you can grow valuable personal skills. Enjoy it.