They say only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun. A group of mad golf-playing squashers braved the 95 degree Houston heat on July 25th, when the HSRA held its 3rd Annual Golf Outing at the Hearthstone Country Club. The outing was organized by HSRA social director, Englishman Dave “mad dog” Scruton, with help from HSRA President Rishad Alikhan and Lou Millman (who somehow negotiated a ridiculously cheap greens fee for the group). Sixteen hackers (men and women) showed up for punishment. The local wildlife wasn’t safe, as a bird, a squirrel and a rabbit were all victims of golf balls gone awry.

Scruton, who has obviously been the victim of a lot of sandbagging in the past (not named) came up with an ingenious and fair method of handicapping all the players. Ron “foot wedge” Kline, taking inspiration from Ben Curtis, burst on to the scene to shoot a career low gross score of 85 to win the tournament (with his assigned handicap) as well as the team competition, with partner Ranabir “running bear” Dutt. Scruton (muttering "serenity now!") won the big dog competition registering the longest drive (on the fairway) while Guy “it’ll be grrrreat” Cowan won the closest to the pin competition on a short par 3, after using his mulligan (bought and paid for). Lee “wooly-back” Spencer was voted most improved player, while RunningBear “molasses” Dutt showed off the best tan. Cynthia Robinson and Di Scruton tied for first in the best legs contest, narrowly beating Dave “titanium knees” Matthes. Mike “the hammer” Smith received top billing for whining and complaining the most before and during the round, although he settled down nicely afterward while making the moves on newcomer Moritza “who are these smelly guys?” Day.

Bill and Lou Millman once again hosted the group at their lovely home for drinks and a fabulous dinner after the round. Non-golf-playing members showed up after the round for the food and fun. With about two-dozen different prizes having been donated, practically everybody went home a winner. Requests to make this into a quarterly event have been streaming in.